We all have grown up watching movies and have often seen that the film is driven by 3 prominent characters a hero, a heroine & a villain. Hero finally triumphs over the villain and wins the girl and they live happily ever after. Thank god now we see much better content but during the 80s and 90s, it was a very prominent scenario.
I used to think the same until reality struck me. Un-like reel movie villains are not outside but within us present throughout our life and all the fight sequence is happening within us and winning over the villain is much easier outside than inside. Basically in my movie – ‘hero’ & ‘villain’ are the same people.
Let’s first understand the real meaning of intimidation – ‘the action of intimidating someone, or the state of being intimidated.’
What is intimidating Behaviour?
Intimidation is when you try to frighten a weaker person into doing what you want. Intimidation can refer to the act of making someone feel timid or afraid — like what you sometimes do to your brother — or it can also refer to that fearful feeling itself.
Well, what I am going to share here is how getting intimidated by someone affects us and starts killing us from within gradually & what are the ways we can fight and overcome it eventually.
Just to filter the audience, the intimidation theory has 3 types of people. One, who has below stated behavioral traits like being reserved, shy, under-confident, have an inferiority complex, have stage fear, not a conversation starter, or are yet to discover their talent.
Second, those who have failed at some point in your life and surrendered to fear eventually caught in the intimidation theory.
Third, it’s a mix of ‘Behaviour traits + Failure’, I believe this is the most dangerous as it has a high probability of coming back again and again at different stages of life and hence it’s a continuous process of fighting in life.
I will share a few real-life examples to explain how knowingly or unknowingly you become a victim of intimidation.
So as per my behavior traits, I am a little reserved and shy and my cousin brother use to be diametrically opposite, outspoken and adamant. As the Indian society is, we were bound to be compared and I most of the times use to be victimized by comments, “Bada bhai hosyaar nikal gaya, chotu reh gaya” , “Iske marks aache aaye hai, chote bhai see zyada intelligent nikal gaya” , Even during my bdays, he use to take away some of my gifts and I just couldn’t say a word because I got intimidated by society and felt that my saying would not help as he will do what he wants. It affected me a lot and I become quieter as days passed.
The dancing bug bit me quite early and I performed for the 1st time in my 7th Grade where people started knowing me and appreciating me. I started gaining confidence gradually and came out of my cocoon eventually.
Learning: You have to identify your potential/talent, keep nourishing it and make it your inner strength to face the goons of the society. With your talent, you can win in other fields of your life and keep becoming stronger and stronger with time.
Ways to come out of Intimidation process:
- Focus more on your core talent and not people – It will help you sharpen your axe and play the game smartly.
- Treat all equally – It means the game is important and not the people who are playing it. For example; in cricket when you are bowling then either Sachin is at the receiving end of your friend, your bowling should be done with the same focus.
- Be aware of the problem and be ready to fight back again and again – It’s for 3rd type of audience ‘Behaviour traits + Failure’.
- Do meditation & increase your power to focus – The more you play the game with focus, the lesser the chances of intimidation.
Do leave your comments of how you felt after reading this blog.
